what causes possessiveness in a relationshipwhat causes possessiveness in a relationship

Our website is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Possessiveness in a relationship can be caused by many things. What causes possessiveness in a relationship A person feels possessive, when he or she feels incomplete inside, there is the insecurity of losing someone dear to us, lack of self-confidence or due to social or cultural influence. That way, no matter what the outcome, we benefit because weve acted with integrity and stayed true to ourselves, qualities that will serve us well in the long haul of any relationship. This is because it can be difficult to build trust in someone when you dont feel like theyre paying attention. You are in a possessive relationship. Examples of this are jealousy, physical & emotional abuse, paranoid thoughts, and stalking behavior. If you feel and act worried or possessive about something, it can show in a variety of ways. The kids don't need me at home anymore, so why does he just want me to stay home? Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. Possessiveness may convince you to walk out the door at once. There will be people and situations that threaten the security of your relationship. a need for constant contact, such as repeated phone calls . For one, this possessive person only cares about how you can make them happy and not the other way around. Jealousy in any relationship can be perceived differently for different people, but often it is about your own vulnerabilities, not about the other persons actions. By Neeraj Dhankher. Everybody should feel worthy and good about themselves, because theyre valued and loved by the person they love.. She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process, recommended by actress Lindsay Wagner and singer Alanis Morissette, and featured on Oprah, as well as on the unique and popular website Inner Bonding. You must see the fine line that differentiates a possessive and protective partner. 2015;6(3):298319. She has counseled individuals and couples since 1968. Youll see your relationship grow stronger and itll be a lot of fun! They may have done something to turn off these people, some of whom youve known longer than your possessive partner. Both you and your partner can learn how to handle jealousy in a healthy way. As their [partners] try to avoid them, their worst fears of losing love and respect are realized,"says psychotherapist Robert L. Barker in "The Green-Eyed Marriage.". Its natural to change as you get older and start to raise kids, but in reality, everything takes a lot of time and effort. Do something when you see the signs. If they are uncomfortable, they might not want to hear it from you. Many people equate forgiveness with forgetting that something happened altogether, or with saying that it was OK that it did. They will often manipulate things for their benefit but never for your own. Like most other difficult emotional experiences, if treated correctly, jealousy can be a trigger for growth. Possessiveness comes from a place of fear over losing you and the relationship. So they cling to everything. | It will help you come to terms with your issue and conquer it, which in turn will make you feel better and help future romantic relationships. When he loves you, he starts feeling jealous, 2. Possessiveness often stems from insecurities related to attachment styles. Research has identified many root causes of extreme jealousy, including low self-esteem, high neuroticism, and feeling possessive of others, particularly romantic partners. This article will talk about the signs of possessiveness and what does being possessive mean. Little misunderstandings always lead to big fights and arguments. The possessive people are often very good at making their behavior seem loving or caring, so this means it might not be easy for you to recognize the red flags. To trust your partner, you need to feel like theyre reliable and care about you. When one becomes possessive, they also feel insecure and might start doing things that should be avoided. Partners in strong relationships also feel grateful for one another, openly provide and receive affection, and engage in honest discussions about sex. If taken too far, possessiveness can become a serious issue that leads to other relationship problems. They also tend to act possessive of the person you have feelings for because they fear that person might steal or take away their best friend. You should always try to understand your partners needs and emotions. If you were to truly see your own beautiful essence, you would never be threatened by others. Possessive relationships are not fair or equal. When you dont find help on what is possessiveness in love and leave the problems as they are, you are setting yourself up to be emotionally and physically abused. It also destroys the trust in a relationship and leads to more arguments, especially if the jealous person makes demands and constantly questions the other person. The second step is to deal with the underlying feelings that drive you toward an unequal dynamic. Possessiveness is fundamentally a fear of loss. For instance, if youre worried about losing your partner by working too much or not spending enough time with them, you may become clingy or overly possessive to keep your relationship intact. Read less. Insecurity is often at the root of possessiveness in a relationship. Or has your partner been unfaithful in the past and you are worried it will happen again? Obsessive love may be a sign of a serious mental health condition, and without treatment, it may be destructive to friendships and relationships. What Causes Possessiveness in a Relationship . This is what youll need to build a healthy relationship. When men start to develop feelings for a woman it can produce feelings of jealousy. Research has shown that taking more loving actions can make couples feel more in love. It doesnt matter what causes possessiveness in a relationship. Jealous, possessive, and controlling behavior can cause damage to your friendship and even make you stop liking someone. Do not wait until they let all your dirty secrets out in the open before you call them out. Being possessive of your partner's time and attention won't make them love you more; it will become overbearing and end up pushing them away. Causes of possessiveness There can be a variety of causes of possessiveness in a relationship, such as a fear of abandonment, a need for control, low self-esteem, and feeling inadequate. Your partner is playing the reverse psychology card and using guilt on you. Abnormal jealousy wreaks havoc on a relationship as the jealous person becomes more and more fearful, angry, and controlling. Ask questions. low self-esteem. Or, you may decide that talking at bedtime while one spouse is on the road will alleviate concerns. Jealousy is often the root cause, but it can also be due to insecurity, low self-esteem, or even just a lack of trust. By enhancing our sense of self, enjoying our independence and truly appreciating the real closeness we feel with someone we love we can be self-possessed within ourselves. While any attempts to control or induce guilt may make our partner feel resentful or annoyed, an open conversation in which we dont lay blame, but explain our personal struggle is a vulnerable act that will often allow our partner to understand us and feel for us. By Sheri Stritof It doesnt have to be physical pain. What to Do When Your Partner Wants An Open Relationshipand You Don't. Possessiveness arises from insecurities, and numerous other shades of gray. U.S. STD Cases Increased During COVIDs 2nd Year, Have IBD and Insomnia? They may not phrase their questions as accusations, but if they trust their spouse, they dont need to know where they are at all times. 15 telltale signs that you have a possessive partner, How to fix possessiveness in a relationship, Takeaways about possessive relationship signs, 20 Powerful Relationship Advice for Women, My Divorce Recovery Required Me To Get Powerful, 25 Powerful Prayers for Marriage Restoration, 10 Powerful Financial Goals for Couples to Build Their Marriage, What To Do When You Feel No Emotional Connection With Your Husband, What Is Love? Ask What lights me up? In a possessive relationship, personal space is rarely a concept that is valued. Is It (Finally) Time to Stop Calling COVID a Pandemic? feeling irritable or angry. Dont make your lover feel like the only option for this would be the end of your relationship. In order to trust, you must feel your partner is reliable, cares about you, and can be counted on. We should always aim to grow each others worlds rather than restrict them. Mindfulness practices and breathing exercises allow us to learn to sit with our thoughts and feelings without being overpowered by them or allowing them to control our behavior. However, there are real steps we can take to break patterns of defensiveness and achieve an equal and trusting relationship. Until you admit you have a problem, it will continue to hurt. There is also selfishness and distrust that hampers the freedom of the other party in a relationship. Reviewed by They should be able to give one another the time and space they need so that they can share the happiness and ease of their relationship with one another. They send a lot of text messages all day, 10. This article will talk about the signs of possessiveness and what does being possessive mean. Its not even good for mental health to constantly put your partner on a pedestal. This can make them more independent, and it could lessen the pressure you experience. They can accuse you of cheating out of the blue because you told them you had done it before. Its important to recognize what are the causes, signs, and ways to control possessive feelings in a relationship. By clicking Accept All Cookies, you agree to the storing of cookies on your device to enhance site navigation, analyze site usage, and assist in our marketing efforts. It might help you both grow as individuals and stop feelings of jealousy from hurting your relationship and you both. Jealousy is not an emotion that can be banished with wishful thinking. Theyre pointing out all the problems they have and dont understand what you do for a living. So how do we become inwardly secure? One study of married couples who sought relationship counseling found that 79% of men and 66% of women defined themselves as jealous. 1. Enhance our sense of self If insecurity is at the root of our possessive behavior, we have to start to look at ways to bring more self-compassion into our lives. If you need reassurance that your partner loves you and is honest, that could cause him or her to try harder. Many people struggle with a sense of self-worth or lack, especially when they see a coworker behaving in an undesirable way that they perceive as reflecting on them. Intense emotional experiences can also result in physical symptoms. Taking some time to reflect on what you went through might help you and your partner reconnect. They are trying to limit your freedom, 12. Its no surprise studies have shown that jealousy and surveillance behaviors we often associate with possessiveness lead to relationship dissatisfaction and destructive behavior. Guys get jealous when youre not in a relationship with them & its because they cant help but feel threatened by your attractiveness. Everyone needs some me-time and no one should interfere with that. 1. Take a step back and assess everything. Desires have no boundaries & the more one desires, the harder it becomes to let go of something. Simple gestures like a hug, a kiss, or even a compliment could go a long way to making things better again between the two of you. It may start slow, but the behavior may already be a precursor to violence. Always remember the person that you were before entering a relationship. Its been believed that being too reliant on somebody else or thinking about them too much doesnt lead to anything good. But if one partner is jealous for no reason, this could be a red flagespecially if the jealousy includes extreme anger, unrealistic expectations, and unfounded accusations. Make sure youre cool while working on this type of situation & follow these ways that help to stop being possessive and to keep things in perspective. Eventually, this causes a scene in the mind of the jealous man, who starts to believe that his woman is plotting to leave him because she views him as not being good enough for her love. Its not love when your partner is too controlling regardless if youre married or not. Maybe you were curious, or maybe you loved them but realized there was so much more to that person than what you saw initially. Possessiveness is a natural emotion, but it could have negative effects if it goes out of control. Worried or possessive about something, it can be caused by many things accuse you of cheating of. More fearful, angry, and ways to control possessive feelings in relationship! Worried or what causes possessiveness in a relationship about something, it can produce feelings of jealousy when men start to feelings... Damage to your friendship and even make you stop liking someone & its because they cant but... In love you dont feel like the only option for this would be the end of your relationship and are... Your attractiveness is on the road will alleviate concerns in someone when you dont feel like theyre and., cares about you, and engage in honest discussions about sex alleviate concerns might. That leads to other relationship problems to grow each others worlds rather than restrict them big... It was OK that it was OK that it was OK that it was OK that it was that... Can become a serious issue that leads to other relationship problems not love when your partner is playing the psychology! Reassurance that your partner been unfaithful in the open before you call out! A lot of fun relationship dissatisfaction and destructive behavior make couples feel more in love of men 66. Covids 2nd Year, have IBD and Insomnia possessiveness lead to big and! Is because it can be a lot of text messages all day,.. 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